Only later could she admit having been distracted and sometimes perhaps even mean during Ingrid's childhood. Neither parent ever admitted more than that. They were stolid, unemotional people who remained aloof. Nevertheless, the mother began to write to her daughter, sending money regularly.

Ingrid was a person of large powers, intelligent and attractive. Early on she displayed warmth and sweetness, but was frequently frantic and confused. Slowing her down was essential.

I listened, making few remarks, while working to bridge the gap of isolation and gaining trust. Meditation and breath work were introduced to help Ingrid reconnect with herself, to help her learn to listen to her inner voice and to her body. When the anxiety got overwhelming, she would want to get on a train and run away. Staying put and talking it through became our task.

We worked on management issues, how to handle people at her job, how to end a destructive relationship with a boyfriend. But we also worked on the metaphysical level. She found peace in this realm, where she could explain what had befallen her. Ingrid spoke of a soul undoubtedly her own, seeking atonement and release.

She spoke of a prior life where she had been in other relationships to her parents. Was it possible she was repaying a karmic debt, to allow her soul to reach a higher plane?

Truth or fiction, these notions and images served to strengthen awareness; they gave her hope and opened the frame of reference in which to understand her life experience.

Ingrid had been harboring the story of her childhood as a talisman, an obsession even. And it had become a substitute for allowing dreams of a rich full life, one in which she could realize her possibilities. She had no goals for the future. The past had obliterated everything.

Slowly we were creating fertile ground to loosen the attachment to the stale old story, marked with pain and resentment, which grew more bitter with each telling. The story had become a personal myth so bonded to Ingrid's self as to become one with it. Fused in the agony of flight or depression, anxiety and fear, the myth had her in its grip.

In the fall, Ingrid moved to new apartment in a nearby town. This was not running away; this was an improved living situation. She was doing something good for herself and, in the process, she had met a new man. This relationship would challenge her capacity for intimacy.

She had gained control over the impulse to run, but the anxiety related to intimate contact would provide another mountain to traverse

Elaine Z Mosher PhD

The cases in point which appear in this column do not represent any particular individual or couple, but are a composite representation of people with relevant life issues. Similarities with actual people are coincidental.

©1999 Elaine Mosher

Cases in Point: Archive