Andrea felt that her most authentic life came from a belief in her higher self. She resonated to the notion of an inner shaman, shifting between ordinary reality and a metaphysical space of timelessness.

It was clear that if we were to work together successfully, it would be on the transpersonal level, where we could pursue such experiences. But Andrea was not at peace with her body, in its femaleness.

My goal was to help heal the gap between her perception of everyday life as mundane and dull, and the glorious joys she experienced free of body constraints, in flight with her imagination. So it was that Andrea and I would embark on a joint risk-taking adventure

Born to a mother considerably younger than her wealthy and titled father, Andrea was raised by a series of nannies and au pairs. She felt love and compassion for her father, but his aloof and reserved demeanor kept him removed from his young daughter.

Meanwhile, Andrea felt fear and rage at her mother's self- absorption, blaming her for her father's perceived loneliness as well as her own. To add insult to injury, Andrea's mother had a jealous nature and displayed an active dislike for her young daughter's beauty. It was here that an essential theme behind Andrea's personal myth was rooted.

Clearly, Andrea had gender identity issues, uncomfortable with and not trusting either sex. Men were attractive but not to be relied upon; women were always potentially dangerous. She despised and disowned her own beauty as seductive.

Andrea also felt herself to be impure and contaminated. Why? The risk-taking so far had taken us back to the source of her self- concept, but now it would take us to depths of memory that often haunt us so long as they remain buried.

Under deep relaxation, Andrea was able to reconnect with a childhood experience that more fully explained her disdain for the life of her body.

The memory of sexual abuse by an au pair emerged, releasing waves of outrage followed by sadness. It would be a matter of some time, but gradually there came a quiet permission to let these agonies finally sink into the past, diffused, but not forgotten.

Andrea came to realize why she preferred to fly away and leave her body. The integration of her fantasy world with her basic wisdom led Andrea on a path back to herself, back to the here and now of sensation.

Now everyday life could become increasingly rich, sensual and satisfying.

The rewards for risking to pursue the demons were life defining and life giving.

The last I heard, Andrea was the proud mother of a baby girl; the intrinsic reward in our work together stands for itself.

Elaine Z Mosher PhD

The cases in point which appear in this column do not represent any particular individual or couple, but are a composite representation of people with relevant life issues. Similarities with actual people are coincidental.

©1999 Elaine Mosher

Cases in Point: Archive