Kate, a journalist, was in her mid fifties; Sam was 63 and the founding partner in a small firm.

Retirement was premature and unrealistic financially, but they had begun to feel the cultural prejudice against age. They were determined not to fall into the stereotyped view of older people with diminished possibilities.

"We knew that if we bought into the cultural mind-set of aging, we would see ourselves on the decline, somehow reduced. The strong need to avoid this, gave us the courage to risk. Ageism was fueling our fire.

"The local narrative, the conventional mind-set of Medicare and diminished capacity scared us and made us brave. We had also begun to experience a sameness in our lives, a holding on to what we'd acquired. We were living by the principle of maintenance and the mundane.

"The adventure, we had in mind, had been a dream. We wondered whether it was also our chance to rediscover life."

Preparing for such an adventure can raise major stumbling blocks.

Sam and Kate took a year and a half to lay out the plan and put the pieces in place.

" We outlined the why, what, where, and when, hammering out timelines and schedules. The implementation stage came from our common sense mind, but a feeling of magic and excitement enlivened our days of anticipation.

"When we got stuck on needing to nail down what we could not, we came to understand the meaning of risk. Sometimes the mind insisted on anticipating all conceivable problems, but in the last analysis, our leap to action, would inevitably take a leap of faith.

"The art of letting or allowing often came up against our well- practiced common sense, which often tuned out to be only fear in disguise."

Sam and Kate represent the possibilities people can create for themselves, if they are willing to break out of the expected. They moved to claim a dream that would bestow on them renewal and aliveness.At a time of life when most of us retreat, they took the bold stroke.

Arriving in Europe in the late summer, they sent a tape back home.

"We are excited and feeling victorious, even though we still contend with the business of letting go. How will the world back home go on without us? But hey, we're actually here -we made it!"

The greatest risk is an open mind, one that tells the truth; a mind free to defy current notions, and a spirit willing to soar.

We do define ourselves, after all, by what we choose to believe.

Elaine Z Mosher PhD

<The cases in point which appear in this column do not represent any particular individual or couple, but are a composite representation of people with relevant life issues. Similarities with actual people are coincidental.

©1999 Elaine Mosher

Cases in Point: Archive